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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689289">No one lays eggs in my bard!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary'>Nary</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Desperation, Dubious Consent, Eggs, Fisting, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oviposition, Sex Pollen, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacle Rape, Wet &amp; Messy, monster death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:01:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689289</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sprawled at the water's edge, Jaskier was pinned down by the creature - a large, aggressive variant on a swamp octopus, it appeared. His clothing had mostly been torn away, leaving him in a few scraps of his usual finery.  The beast had him held with four of its muscular tentacles, while two others impaled his mouth, and two his ass, pulsating grotesquely.  Jaskier wasn't struggling against the violation, though - instead, he seemed almost to welcome it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier/Tentacles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Chocolate Box - Round 5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No one lays eggs in my bard!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiffElderberry/gifts">BiffElderberry</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt had tracked the beast that had abducted Jaskier from their camp the night before, following the slimy trail it left behind.  It had managed to stun them both with some kind of poison gas, and when the witcher had awakened, Jaskier was missing.  By the size of the trail, the creature was large, and Geralt feared that at any moment he might come across the bard's mangled remains.  He kept up a rapid pace, dreading what might be waiting around the next corner, when suddenly he heard a strangled cry.  It was Jaskier - so he was still alive, at least for now!  Geralt broke into a run, rushing towards the sound, sword at the ready.</p><p>The sight that greeted him as he broke through the underbrush and into a clearing with a marshy pond at the center was not the bloody scene he had anticipated.  Sprawled at the water's edge, Jaskier was pinned down by the creature - a large, aggressive variant on a swamp octopus, it appeared. His clothing had mostly been torn away, leaving him in a few scraps of his usual finery.  The beast had him held with four of its muscular tentacles, while two others impaled his mouth, and two his ass, pulsating grotesquely.  Jaskier wasn't struggling against the violation, though - instead, he seemed almost to welcome it.  His eyes were glazed and a glistening strand of drool fell from his overstuffed mouth to the ground.  He made a gurgling moan, but didn't resist as the monster's thick tentacles fucked him from both ends.</p><p>Geralt was almost afraid to simply kill it, even though it must be vulnerable right now - he couldn't know what effect it would have on Jaskier.  It was very deep inside him, Geralt could tell by the way his stomach was bulging obscenely, surging in and out with each probing thrust.  And he already knew that it had the ability to emit a scent that could put him in a stupor.  No doubt it had used such pheromones on Jaskier to subdue him, or he would have been putting up more of a fight.  </p><p>Jaskier made fleeting eye contact with Geralt, but barely seemed to register that he was there, as the witcher considered how best to disentangle this beast without harming his companion.  As he watched, strangely mesmerized, the two tentacles lodged in Jaskier's ass spread apart, holding him wide open, and a slimmer dark red organ oozing with thick slime darted out of its underside, sliding deep into the waiting hole.  Jaskier's eyes fluttered closed in something like unholy ecstasy as the beast's sex organ (if that was what it was) plunged into him.  As Geralt watched in horror and amazement, the slender implement began to swell, bulging as if something large was passing through it, then narrowing, then expanding again, a steady stream of fist-sized orbs.  The terrible realization came to Geralt then - the beast was laying eggs.  In Jaskier.  In <i>his</i> bard.  </p><p>That was more than he could take.  With a snarl, he closed the distance between himself and the creature, bringing his sword down against the bulbous hump of its body, which split open like a rotten fruit.  The beast let out a gurgling belch-like sound, but it was too entwined with Jaskier to return the attack with its limbs.  As it tried to pull away, its maw opened and a sickly miasma spewed forth.  Geralt tried to hold his breath, driving his sword into its gullet and up into whatever passed for its brain.  Its tentacles writhed frantically in one last, frantic effort to escape, and then it collapsed with a hiss and a squelch.  Geralt shoved it off (and out of) Jaskier, into a slimy pile where it lay twitching, and then knelt down to check on the bard to see if he was alright.</p><p>"Jaskier," he said, scooping him up in his arms, "I'm here, you're safe now."  The slippery fluid smeared on Jaskier's skin made him hard to hold onto, but Geralt gripped him tighter, unwilling to let go.</p><p>With a dazed expression, Jaskier managed to turn his head so that he could look in Geralt's direction.  "Gah," he said, "cuh," his mouth fumbling over the words.  His hands, not quite under control, flopped up around Geralt's shoulders in a feeble embrace.  </p><p>Geralt carried him a short distance away, enough to be out of the reach of the creature's stench at least, before setting him down again so that he could examine him more carefully.  Jaskier moaned at being jostled about, and Geralt could tell he was still in pain.  His lower abdomen was distended and he was pale and sweating, but most disconcertingly, his cock was hard.  Geralt couldn't tell which of the fluids coating Jaskier's body were the creature's and which were his own.  First step, he decided, was to get the eggs out of him.  "Come on," he said, helping him into a squatting position, "push."</p><p>Jaskier looked almost affronted at being forced into such an undignified position, even though he couldn't entirely support his own head.  "Nuh," he said stubbornly.</p><p>"Damn it, you need them out! You don't want to know what will happen if they take root in there, I promise."  Geralt could have given him a lecture on the subject, but there wasn't time.  "Now push."</p><p>Jaskier looked like he still wanted to protest, but instead all that escaped his lips was a whine.  The eggs were moving on their own with gravity to help them, Geralt guessed, and there was only one way for them to get out.  Even as he watched, one mottled greenish-grey orb slid out of Jaskier and fell with a splat to the ground.  Its surface was vaguely translucent and Geralt could see something with too many limbs squirming inside it.  He crushed it with the toe of his boot, shoving the remains aside, and tried to remember how many he'd seen the creature deposit.  Had it been three? Four?  "That's it," he told Jaskier, "only a few more."</p><p>The bard moaned, grimacing.  "Can't," he managed to say, which was the most coherent word he'd uttered in some time.  Maybe he was coming around from the effects of the beast's poison.</p><p>"Yes, you can," Geralt told him.  "You have to."  To try and encourage the process he placed a hand on Jaskier's swollen belly, gently pressing down.  Jaskier cried out in pain and another egg plopped out onto the ground.  Geralt quickly disposed of it like he had the previous one, and returned his attention to Jaskier, whose legs were trembling as he strained to expel a third egg, this one smeared with bright red blood.  When it finally emerged fully from his wrecked asshole, the bard shuddered, his eyes rolling back in his head, and would have collapsed if Geralt hadn't been holding him up.</p><p>"Good, there you go, that's all of them," Geralt told him, easing him down to the ground.  He was fairly sure that was all of them, anyway - Jaskier's belly didn't look so swollen - but he was still worried.  "How do you feel?"</p><p>Jaskier rolled his eyes at him, which was encouraging - if he had the energy to be sarcastic, he was probably going to be alright.  But, distressingly, at least to Geralt's mind, his dick was still rock hard, despite everything he'd gone through.  "Need...you," he managed to gasp.  His hands grasped feebly at Geralt's chest, trying and failing to unfasten his jacket.</p><p>"You're hurt," Geralt said, prevaricating.  He wasn't going to take advantage of Jaskier in this vulnerable state.  He cared too much for him to do something like that.  He tried to ignore the way Jaskier's cock was twitching to be held, or the way his own body was responding (to the cloud of pheromones the creature had sprayed at him before it died, or to Jaskier's desperation, or both?)</p><p>"Still hurts," Jaskier said, then shook his head as if that hadn't come out quite right.  "Hurts... hard."  He gave what he probably thought was a flirty wink but mostly it just looked like he'd had a stroke.  </p><p>Gerald sighed.  "Jaskier.  You're in no condition... I'm not... oh, fuck."  The bard had managed to slide a hand up his thigh and rub his cock over his leather pants.  He was getting slightly more of his coordination back, it seemed.  "If your dick hurts because it's too hard, I can probably help with that," Geralt said grudgingly.  "You're covered in slime anyway, what's a little more?"</p><p>He grasped Jaskier's cock, slippery as it was with the monster's fluids, and found it was practically burning up in his hand despite the chill in the air and the bard's state of undress.  A few quick strokes had Jaskier moaning, and he shuddered as if he was coming, but nothing came out - and, to Geralt's mounting concern, his cock stayed just as hard as it had been.  "Jaskier," he said, "how many times have you come already?"</p><p>"Uhhh," Jaskier said, trying to pull himself together enough to answer, while simultaneously trying futilely to unfasten Geralt's pants.  "Sleven.  No.  Fiveteen."</p><p>"Those aren't real numbers," Geralt said.  He took it that meant 'a lot', though.  </p><p>"Fuck meeeee," Jaskier begged.  "It'll help.  I know."  His face was flushed beet-red and he looked clammy and sweaty, but he seemed sure of himself.  Geralt couldn't imagine how it would help under the circumstances, but given the bard's obvious state of distress, he was willing to give it a try.  </p><p>"Fine," he said.  "But if you tell me it hurts, I'm stopping at once."       </p><p>It only took Geralt a few moments to get his cock out - he didn't bother undressing the rest of the way.  Jaskier half-flopped, half-rolled over, and with a faint sigh, Geralt helped him get into a better position.  His ass looked red and sloppy and aching, and Geralt couldn't help but wince as he pushed his cock into the poor abused hole, feeling the soft squish of it giving way.  Jaskier, however, gave a guttural moan that sounded like it came from the depths of his body, and pushed back against him with whatever feeble strength he could muster, clearly desperate for more.</p><p>There was so much lubrication it was almost <i>too</i> much.  It didn't even really feel like fucking an ass - he was so loose and so wet that Geralt had a hard time even telling where he was, slipping out several times and winding up rubbing against Jaskier's backside instead.  Each time, the bard's increasingly needy moans alerted him and he readjusted so he could slide back inside him.  Jaskier couldn't participate as much as usual in the act itself, but the noises he was making were so feral and frantic that they were almost enough to bring Geralt off on their own.  He slammed into him, hoping that this would be what Jaskier needed, that it would fix whatever poison or infection was still coursing through his feverish body.  He felt the faint pulses as the bard came over and over again, but still couldn't stop.  "Muhhh, unnngh, mooore," Jaskier groaned, seemingly insatiable.</p><p>"This is all I have," Geralt grunted back at him.  Although he knew this probably wasn't his best performance, he didn't usually get complaints about his size. Besides, he was getting close and knew he wouldn't be able to endure this much longer.  "Fuck," he growled, grabbing Jaskier's hips to give himself the extra leverage he needed to finish.  He came hard, adding another load to Jaskiers already-overflowing ass, and stayed inside him, panting.  Jaskier scrabbled pitifully at the muddy ground, still not done even after Geralt pulled out.</p><p>"Hand," he pleaded.  "Put your hand in."  At least he was making almost-coherent sentences now, Geralt thought.  It was far too easy to slide three fingers inside Jaskier's gaping hole, wet with the thick, slimy juice that was still seeping out of him.  Jaskier kept begging for more, so Geralt carefully added a fourth finger, and then worked his thumb inside with a bit of effort and a slight adjustment of the angle of his fist.  The wail that came from Jaskier's throat was hoarse, and Geralt could feel his muscles contracting as he came again, wringing and clutching about his thick wrist.  And then he felt something else, just at the tip of his fingers - something rounded and smooth and vaguely gelatinous, filling Jaskier's guts...</p><p>"There's another egg in here," he exclaimed, horrified.  He tried to reach it, but every motion drew more screams from Jaskier, and he was afraid to hurt him.  It wasn't as though he could get a good grip on it anyway - it was far too slippery.  "I'm going to pull out now," Geralt told him.  "Then we can work on getting it out too."</p><p>Jaskier was so far gone that all he could do was whimper as Geralt drew his fist out of him with a slow squelch.  The witcher helped him back into a crouch, trying to support him as best as he could, although the bard was practically limp in his arms.  Well, limp in every way but one.  </p><p>"Come on," Geralt told him.  "This is the last one - once you get it out, you'll feel better."  At least, he desperately hoped that was true.               </p><p>Mustering whatever last drop of strength he had, Jaskier bore down, trying to do as he was told.  Geralt's muttered encouragement seemed far away, but he held onto it.  The egg, perhaps aided by the slick of Geralt's seed, suddenly dislodged and he gasped, almost passing out, as it finally slid out of him.  Jaskier's hips jerked uncontrollably as he was emptied at last, and Geralt felt immensely relieved to see him spray a relatively-normal looking burst of come.  Then it was as if all his muscles gave out at once, and if he hadn't been locked in Geralt's embrace, he would certainly have fallen to the ground.  </p><p>"Feel better?" Geralt asked.</p><p>Jaskier gave a feeble nod.  His cock had softened too, Geralt noticed, and that was even more of a relief.  </p><p>"Good," Geralt said.  "Now, let's get you someplace where you can get cleaned up and rest until you recover."</p><p>"Bath," Jaskier managed to croak. "Everything's... sticky."</p><p>"Yes," Geralt told him, picking him up with a weary grimace.  "I'll make sure you get a bath. With chamomile for your lovely bottom."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find me on Tumblr at <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising">naryrising</a> if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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